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Staying cool when you’re getting a divorce

On Behalf of | Jan 16, 2020 | Divorce

The end of your marriage is an emotional time — and you may have a lot of unresolved feelings about what led to that divorce, too.

Yet, this isn’t a particularly good time to let your emotions take over. So, how do you keep yourself cool and emotionally balanced while you’re going through the business of divorce? Here are some suggestions from experts:

1. Find a therapist

Your friends and relatives want to support you — but they may mistakenly keep rehashing old events and reopening old wounds. It’s time to get some help gaining a more distant perspective so that you can start to move on.

2. Make plans

You can’t focus on moving forward if you’re still adhering to the patterns of the past. It’s time to start finding new things to do with your time. Enroll in an art class, take up a martial art or get into an exercise class so you have positive things on which to focus your attention.

3. Go ahead and grieve

Every divorce represents the end of someone’s hopes and dreams of a future. You aren’t just letting go of a marriage, you’re also saying goodbye to a very specific future ideal. Give yourself permission to grieve that without focusing too hard on what went wrong.

4. Practice acceptance

The decision to divorce ended the vision you had of your future, and it may take a while before you find a new one. Try to accept that it’s okay if you don’t have a clear direction just yet. These things take time to develop.

During this emotional time, it’s important to have experienced counsel by your side. If you’re heading toward a divorce, find out what to expect.