Nobody ever said divorce was easy. However, you can make it easier on yourself by setting a few basic rules for while you’re going through it. (With a little bit of luck, your spouse will take the hint and follow the same rules. That could make for a divorce that’s actually amicable in the end.)
1. Think of this as a business deal gone bad.
If you think of your marriage as a business deal that no longer works for you, it may be easier to separate the emotional aspects of the divorce from the financial ones. You have all the time in the world to deal with your emotions — after the divorce is over.
2. Don’t mentally check out of the proceedings.
Your divorce attorney is going to advocate for you — but you can’t afford to just give up and give in on every detail because you’re tired of the conflict or just tired of being married. You need to be an active participant in your own divorce in order to come out of the situation with a fair deal.
3. Keep your eyes focused on the long road.
A lot of divorcing couples get caught up in the here-and-now. That can cause you to overlook the consequences that may come back on you a decade or so later. Take the time to carefully evaluate your financial options, especially when it comes to divide the marital property. If need be, consult a financial advisor before you make important decisions.
4. Practice self-care.
You have to take time for yourself during a divorce — no matter how hectic the pace. Talk to a therapist or find a circle of friends that’s independent of your marriage (none of your “couples” friends) to vent your grief and frustation when necessary.
If you keep these four things in mind, you can help your divorce proceed more smoothly — and you’ll come out of it stronger in the end.