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Resolution more valuable than revenge in divorce

On Behalf of | Feb 13, 2018 | Divorce

Hurt feelings and disappointments play a role in almost any divorce in Michigan. When someone’s actions are especially hurtful, a former spouse might naturally want revenge and look to a court to make it happen. Long legal battles, however, come with high price tags, and the research of one social psychologist identified negative long-term results from exacting revenge upon someone.

The researcher from Colgate University concluded that people who did not get revenge after an upsetting situation had a greater ability to recover emotionally. Foregoing revenge allowed them to move on from the nasty episode and focus on the future. People who did act upon their vengeful urges experienced the opposite. They remained obsessed with the wrongs committed against them. Additional research about the human brain also revealed that revenge produces only short-term pleasure for people.

Individuals who want the chance to recount their ill treatment to a judge might not gain the satisfaction that they are hoping for either. Very little shocks judges, who have likely heard everything during their careers. With no-fault laws guiding most divorces, judges focus on dividing marital assets and determining child custody.

A person confronted with the need to end a marriage will need to navigate strong emotions while making important legal decisions. Divorce attorneys may be able to research a client’s specific family situation and finances to provide information about how the law might influence a divorce settlement. A person might have their attorney act as a buffer during negotiations with the former spouse. This process might prevent hostilities from erupting and prolonging the divorce. During discussions with the other party, an attorney may advocate for the person’s financial needs and pursue shared custody of children. Once acceptable terms emerge, an attorney may be able to write the agreement for presentation at court.